Dual....:-)
I seriously love my fucking boobs. They are so boobs.
What do you call a girl with PMS and GPS?
A crazy bitch that WILL find your ass!
I am too high to leave where I am...And they are listening to Stained. This is my living hell.
The cereal milk was almost black, the bacon was still frozen and the toast was soggy. And that was BEFORE I puked in her lap.
I don't care. I'll be that guy that eats cake in a car. Alone. With the doors locked.
She just landed. Popped over for a BJ and left. I'm a fan of layover layovers.
By the power invested in me, I now pronounce your taco to be meaty. Meaty taco meaty taco meaty meaty meaty taco.
So should I finish watching Space Jam and then get head? Or get head while secretly watching Space Jam?
im not trying to sound dramatic, but im covered in microwavable lasagna
BING! You are now free to move about my panties. He just left for work.
The fun I thought I would be having now when I was six is vastly different from what I am currently doing. Hurraaay sex and vicodin.
I got slapped by a drag queen and bitten on the arm by either a random girl or a weird mouth shaped dog. Tough to tell without seeing the teeth
So maybe I got drunk and hooked up with him in a hot tub? I mean that's nothing to be ashamed of, that kind of takes talent. I'd drown.
You barfed off the front porch while the elderly neighbors were walking their dog. We had to convince them not to call 911.
Pics or it didn't happen.
Randomize
