It was just so hard to get through Conan without crying like a baby. I'm just so proud of him.
He looks like a mix between a retired piano teacher and a cat that just swallowed a sock.
He just told me he would murder a thousand dolphins to be with me. Quite the charmer.
He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
i might have gotten away with it if "don't tase me bro!" wasn't the first thing i said when i rolled down my window.
Just fucked in his moms tanning bed. While it was on. Weirdest. Tan. Ever.
You were passed out on the chair and when I asked you if you were okay you looked up and said "I'm fine, I was just pretending for a picture" then passed out again.
the ball fondling will be left out of the trip recanting
definitely fulfilled the lesbian status quo and fucked her in the back seat of my prius
It's not a good night until someone eats a bagel covered in face mask thinking it's cream cheese
Is it worth it to drive to a zoo with a high possibility of sex at said zoo?
You flew out of the bedroom, stole two Solo cups from the beer pong table, put them on your feet, clicked your heels together three times
I need you to know that everytime my toddler does the downward facing dog in the nude I think about the night you and your dude fell in love.
I just woke up drenched in beer, in a puddle of beer, and cuddling a bottle of tequila
Well, I can't remember Thursday and my left ass cheek hurts like hell, I'm guessing Mike's bachelor party was a success.
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