I just spent the night with a bunch of indian guys and i wasn't attracted to a single one. Yeah i've officially become an anti-indian indian.
look no pants
There is a reason Crest White Strips don't list masturbation as one of the myriad of activities to do while whitening your teeth. A very good reason.
So i decided to deal with the awkwardness of last night by making out with all three of them
people should stop making movies, we'll never top bio-dome.
She put her phone in her underwear and it somehow managed to work it's way into her vagina. she has a BLACKBERRY.
told our landlord the hole in the wall was from your head during drunk sex..
how did he take it?
not as well as i would have thought
She was pouring Goldschlager in my mouth during the shower sex. How can you NOT like her?
How do you tell an ex that banging less hot chicks than me is highly insulting? I almost want to try and get him laid with a pretty girl just to save some face for dating him so long.
I just realized why I have little cuts all over my fingers. There was a broken pint glass in my purse last night.
Antibacterial soap and prayers does not for spermicide make
yea sometimes its awkward. but when you're a straight bartender at a gay bar and everyone knows it, they all think that they can make me turn gay. its like oh yea dude that extra $20 tip makes me want to suck some dick now
Is it bad that I'm using the photo I took for my fake ID as my linkedin profile pic?
It's 90 percent alcohol, and 10 percent a whisper that says "get drunk"
IF YOU DIE ON LSD YOU DIE FOR REAL
Randomize
