I know she is the girl of my dreams bc she orgasmed, rolled over and then asked if I knew that Orlando beat Cleveland.
you used to get mad at me for mentioning 'unprotected sex' and happenings in my bed
well yeah, but then i realized the wisdom of your ways.
She's like Mona Lisa when she's intoxicated. No one understands her but they all think she's marvelous
She asked me how I live with myself. I told her one night at a time.
Can you call him, he said something about going to the balcony to pee and now hes texting me saying hes lost
And i didn't ask you to do that, You showed your penis at your own free will.
What an age we live in that I can try to pick up a guy by using my phone while I'm taking a shit at work.
She failed the Charleston discretion test, although puking in her armpit was very innovative.
Aka reading hardcore gay robot porn as a steady trickle of elementary schoolers walk by me every so often and im still in uniform as there councilor
Who is also still dressed up as a pirate
I'm taking a dab in mourning of how long its been since I smoked with you guys.
We had sex in the church bell tower and somehow it still feels right.
Went home with a male stripper who looked like Justin Timberlake.. I started singing cry me a river mid sex. When he sang along I fell in love
She was so happy for me that she insisted I fuck her with my Bills jersey on. THAT ACCOMMODATING
I woke up naked next to my hot manager. Left before she woke up, and worked an entire shift with her. She has no idea.
I thought I was drunk because I kept grabbing his arm instead of his dick
But then I realized it wasn’t his arm and that I was very lucky
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