Well I thought I'd be nice but yeah I'm not a fan of you either you're an arrogant stupid cocky unfunny loser. Don't talk to me you're crazy
mom took my condoms, found one in the trash the next day
I know she was great
take it from a girl who woke up with a girl in her bed... you were not that drunk.
she was puking into the toilet drowning herself saying "its okay im a swimmer"
I swear if his heart was half the size of the cum stains he's left on my sheets we would have the perfect relationship
i woke up to the sound of my dad getting blown. this is my life
You guys need to get along, there is no need for a pissing contest...We're all fucking each others ex's.
i swear, about 40% of my drunken life is spent having sex with him.
I'm just gonna get real fat and join the circus.
I think when Jesus turned water into wine it was a sign that we should get drunk off Sangria tonight. Do it for Jesus. He died for your sins.
Hi please disregard the last text and if you'd like our entire interaction
Done
Goodnight Shia. Goodnight Moon.
Remember when we got high off our ass and you talked me into running in place then punched me in the face and said it was a wall?
Ya, you were bleeding for an hour and a half
Oh well, he'll live. He has a hand and a penis.
We left an ass print on the conference room table, but I don’t think anyone caught on
Randomize
