she didnt even puke last nite, shes finally hit champion status. i think im in love
she has over 3,000 tagged photos on facebook. dont tell me she isnt annoying.
My third nipple is alarmingly under-appreciated.
She left scratches down my back from her wedding ring. Her husband seems like a nice guy though, judging by the scratches it had to be at least a carat.
You'd think if the campus holds 28,000 undergrad I wouldn't run into three people I've hooked up with in one day
he may be homeless but his dick however is not... anymore.
DONT LET HIM GET NAKED. JUST SAY NO
We may have picked the wrong resort. Brenna and I have already been propositioned for swinging twice and we've only been here 3 hours
I should send him a pic of my crotch with the caption "thanks for the memories"
I may or may not have just let Ash Ketchum capture my wild Pikachu in a parking lot.
Don't send me nudes asking me to come fuck you on lunch break then send me a video of kids you're babysitting.
I used my dress as a plate for pizza rolls last night
Random pof guy just messaged me initiating a Pokemon battle. Want to be a bridesmaid?
That moment when you're in a room with 3 guys and know how big their dicks are. Then you are married to the one with the smallest dick.
I just realized I have a habit of pre gaming for therapy visits. Problem?
We'll discuss it when you get here
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