I just let someone steal something bc they were so fucking weird and wouldn't leave me alone
I'm blazed at jack in the box and my order number is 420. I wish everything in the world made this much sense.
I think we should see other people.
Already working on it.
on the last problem of the exam i just drew a picture of a cat and left
My last google search last night was 'vodka swimming pool'.
It's only been a week and i've already broken my no summer randoms rule twice.
At some point I'd like to figure out how the weird kid from sociology ended up on my couch naked hugging what appears to be some sort of clothing....seriously it's creeping me out
You crossed every boundary on the boundary spectrum last night. You're like the illegal immigrant of drunk actions. No more holiday drinking for you.
Like, actually questioning if you ate dog shit last night
Yeah. You can ask him out. We're just fuck buddies. My vagina will be sad but your heart can be happy.
Maybe you should start carrying pepper spray. You are like the Justin Bieber of lesbians.
My arms are hairy. And so Is my left leg. Just my left leg, the right is smooth.
Sending out old nude selfies with the message "#tbt"
I just put vagisil on my bug bites how do you think my morning is going
His wife just cheated on him for the third time. I'm his first extra-marital fling, that makes it ok, right? You know to keep karma balanced in the universe
Your logic is flawless...
Randomize
