Nothing ended up happening last night because he couldn't get my overalls or fanny pack off. I woke up this morning with one strap over my overall shorts on, my fanny pack wrapped around my chest, and the baby doll still tied to my hand. Ugh white trash parties!
At any point in time, have you stopped and thought "I wonder how high Willie Nelson is right now?
All I wanted to tell you is that I fucked a guy covered in fake blood, who circumcised himself.
Judging by the fact that my hair was glued to my head with vomit, yeah I think I couldve used a friend last night
Exactly. wat kind of friend would i be if i even pretended to give a shit about ur problems
She was drinking straight whiskey out of her peacock shaped vase again.
Is "blowjob enthusiast" a bad costume?
u know how some weekends you just wanna go out and ruin a relationship? this is one of those weekends
You just sat there and yelled "I JUST WANT TO RUB MY NIPPLES"
It was like being fucked by the god of thunder, he gained power from the storm. I took a Plan B because I don't think regular birth control will stop Thor's sperm.
I just gave myself a sponge bath with your sock. I hope you don't mind.
Smoked a blunt with my dad then introduced him to cinnabon delights. Today was a good day.
Woke up to your boyfriend in my bed last night. What's that about?
I hate men. But I love dick. You see my problem?
My mom just came upstairs handed me an Adderall and asked if I could help her wash the ceilings
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