Sorry, I have to go home and feed my nepotisms
Sorry, I can't talk, there's a herd of nepotisms headed my way
u on campus? she just peed the bed i need to go
If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
Just lost my virginity while listening to rick astley. torn between horror and jubilation
just had sex with a midget and didnt wrap it... were totally gonna have a tv show :)
Just stepped in shit. Not sure if its mine or the dog's. Get some of our friends on the way back from work and just have the intervention now. I will totally understand.
Me and my vagina aren't speaking at the moment.
The guy in the cast riped the tap off the keg and hit steve with it
omg i hate the new neighbors. why cant a bitch just be hungover in peace on a wednesday morning.
Just saw a girl duct tape a cigarette back together..I feel like my life is shambles for being present for this
I want everyone to love me, and THEN I will choose who gets to eat me out all the time.
I was drunk while I accepted my job offer. Here's to growing up.
The last thing I need is a possessed urethra.
i just really want to fuck a guy wearing lederhosen
it'll be sexier than it sounds, i promise
home. only unpacked the necessities...contact case and beer.
Randomize
