Bts the comment you were making during that picture was "look we have penises"
Should I go home with him even though I know my Run DMC undies have skid marks on them?
Wow my backseat really seemed a lot bigger when we were 16
my bedside table was not meant to hold this many beer bottles.
Banging bitches in a bar bathroom is not legit as it was in college, there are no fistpumps afterward only shame
For future reference, the words 'big' and 'problem' should be used sparingly with a person whom you have recently had copious amounts of unprotected sex
Okay I woke up in my room, snuggie on, had a water bottle in my hand my tv was on Disney channel and my cigarettes are gone. And I deleted every text in my phone but one that said 'you are absolutely welcome'
Yes I want to fuck your friends but it's out of respect and love for you.
I'm eating a piece of cake like an apple. At least my thought process is healthy.
I'm sorry I did drugs then got really loud and bitchy at your party and judged your choice in one night stands.
I woke up in my living room, on the floor, wearing nothing but a fur coat?
What does that mean when you have a child masturbating in your dream? Is that weird?
My day in three words: secret purse cake
Next time you have him paint you an outfit so you can do you walk the street naked TAKE A SHOWER BEFORE YOU GET IN THE BED. MY sheets look like like an acid trip
There’s so much sex at the hospital I’m beginning to think scrubs were invented to make duty booty easier
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