when did we get to this "texting at random" level on friendship?
Didn't get to fuck her. Had to leave abruptly through window. Explain later.
You were dancing with a coffee pot of rum in one hand and a joint in the other. So that should explain everything.
i told her i wanted to be the Neil Armstrong of her vagina,
Today's goal is to get out of bed, before I take a shit. This might be hard
Pass or fail tho
I woke up in a toga after going to a Hawaiian party. I don't even know.
I climbed out of the shower to him sitting on the floor trimming his pubes with nail clippers, we both just started laughing at how drunk we were
i feel like when you brought up the possibility of you getting pregnant the sexting is over
You asked for 4 things: your phone, your wallet, your keys and your denture. I stopped asking questions.
I think I've been there, but who knows? I drink a lot
Man I can't wait till Thursday if strippers and beer are what you consider "research"
It felt like I was on painkillers mixed with Molly mixed with the sinking feeling I'll die alone. 10/10 doing again.
I consider walking to the bars and dancing my exercise and I buy doubles so my drinks r heavier so that's my arm workout
I've seen your dick too many times for both of us to be straight.
So you realized he wasn't actually cheating on you and now you're trying to unfuck things. Or in this case unfuck Tom.
Randomize
