Fact: The drinking you do in college doesn't affect your liver in real life.
He came all over my face... then said "YOU HAVE BEEN ROBBED!"
What's this douchebags name?
Rob...
I love how understanding people are when they hear we first hooked up getting high and watching nature shows
just went to the store to buy a mop & tampons. i feel like i just gave in to all those women jokes.
I have now hooked up with 8 of the Apostles. I have no idea where I'm going to find a guy named Bartholomew.
Its not monday til someone throws up in the hallway
Nothing like a marijuana chart of usage in each country to make me understand math.
He came for an unexpected visit and let's just say I shattered his illusion that girls don't watch porn
I had to assert my dominance as Alpha Drunk.
My car smells like beer, you're here in spirit
I realized after pounding back 151 and head banging into each other to "the drop" of that dub step song, that we weren't meant to have boyfriends at this point in time.
So I'm thinking that so long as I have this piercing, I'm going to get tested for explosives at the airport
if Anne Taylor knew what she did in her clothes, she'd be banned from the store.
oh come on, it's the perfect length summer dress to blow a stranger in the bathroom in
He made me twerk for scrambled eggs... I regret nothing
These last few days with George, grandma, and now Carrie all dying have been pushing me further and further into rum's sweet embrace.
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