He is such a slut. More and more my type.
question: from what angle do you give a hand job. im confused..
so I finished the entire bottle...next thing I know, it's 8 am and I wake up on the fucking beach in the low tide with a family standing about 30 feet from me just staring.
Hey man your outta milk
How the hell do you keep getting in my apartment?!
we need to start a braincell conservation fund for you, sort of like save the whales or something.
Hey had an urgent voicemail from the Illinois national guard....have you been using my identity for your blackout weekend?
Yes and yes
I am lonely and I want to touch your beard
I'm seeing how long I can hold this wine in my mouth. I have so many adventures! I'm like Teddy Ruxpin!
At what point lastnight did a lens fall out of my glasses and nobody tell me?
He told me he wanted to sober fuck the shit outa me... I took that as a compliment
Nothing ends a night of heavy drinking better than banging to three six mafia in your own driveway
"YOU ALWAYS BEEN A HOE YOU ALWAYS GONE BE A HOE. THAT'S JUST THE WAY IT'S GONE BE." overheard at temple
He found out about your side hoe and still helped you try to find a lizard that got in the house
What's rude is him not accepting my blowjob offer. What kind of guy denies that.
Just once, can I please come back to a room that doesn't smell like beer and cum?
Randomize
