I had a good time, probably would have a bigger headache today if you were in town.
Remember that night when i almost got you arrested? Is that funny yet?
we went to that german restaurant and drank out of the boots. Then I threw up into one
Maybe if i eat something filling like whole wheat pasta it will make me less hungry for things like dick
sitting in an airport in detroit. just saw a commercial for detroit tourism with kid rock as a spokesman. reason # 1458 to never visit this city.
Why is there an empty beer bottle in the shower?
Why wouldn't there be.
Please tell me that text was part of your elaborate Brett Favre costume; otherwise, dude, wtf?
There are taser marks on me. Your face flashed before my eyes when i woke up and saw them.
If everything I've heard is true, then she's lost her virginity three times
She is ok w me having sex for money. Just gotta find rich grandmas.
God it's like my stomach is full of drunk bees
Nothing says I love you as your fiancé bringing back home your drunk brother from his own stag party
Some guy named spider just bought me 5 shots
it's like my ID runs away from me when it knows it's time for me to drink
she kind of stumbled up and said "Bitches be needin' stiches." i thought i could convince her to break a bottle over someones head but she fell onto her face and passed out before i could say anything
Randomize
