We put her face under a blacklight.....it looked like fireworks
don't look now, but that cross eyed girl is staring at you... and me.
he just flicked a booger into my mouth and shouted "goaaaal!"
heading to class now, facing the weekend consquences
He drives a BMW. I have to fuck him. Girl Code Rule #26.
He came home all fucked up crying slammed his bedroom door and all we could hear for about three hours was THIS ISN'T GONA RUIN MYLIFe what happend
I told him I got this chick pregnant and he has to get a new wingman
Either I think of sex like a man, or all the men in Vegas are women.
i just googled coccaine effects on sexual performance..maybe im dating the wrong guy
Explaining that I bought them at a strip club gift shop with my friend didnt make the furry handcuffs seem less weird
Really, who hasn't had sex on your bed?
ME.
So yeah, turns out I enjoy vaguely public group sex. Who knew?
You were so fucked you introduced me to a pile of Laundry
I wondered why I slept in the front room
It wasn't intentional or anything but I've now had sex with all of your siblings. How's college going?
Just made my first drink, took 2 sips feel like god
My roommate made maccoroni last nigh dropped the bowl off the counter knocking it into the dog bowl he picked up the dog bowl and started eating it claiming it was te worst Mac and cheese ever and if he wasnt so high he would stop eating it hahahaha
Randomize
