I thought at least he would want to exchange numbers after he tried to put it in my bum
I want a gay best friend. or apple sauce either one is fine with me
i want you to know that after i type the word "your" , vagina is next on my auto correct text
its a nice change of pace not blacking out and actually remembering getting laid
i'm sitting in the second floor bathroom drinking coronas in the shower. do not find me.
Half of elefante. Gelafin galaxy
I apologize for excluding you. On a better note: the stripper that made out with my wife friend requested me on facebook
I like to balance the number of cups of coffee to bong rips in the morning before work.
I'm gonna cougar town the shit out of that prom.
I don't think people appreciate how hard it is to fuck in a portapotty. Sarah and I had train for that shit.
so "excuse the stench" wasn't the correct thing to say when your boyfriend's parents walk in on you shitting. Live and learn
Hypothetically speaking, at what point does fire become too much fire?
Lets get drunk. But not too drunk that I can't work in the morning. But maybe drunk enough so we'll make out
HE IS. YOU SHOULD TOUCH HIS BACK.
IT IS A COURTSHIP RITUAL.
THE MUTUAL BUTT TOUCH IS SACRED.
Went to bed still wearing my bralette. When I was changing this morning, a Tootsie Roll fell out. I'm definitely living my best life.
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