AHHHH!!! note to self never google image chastity belt omfg
I forgot how hot balto sounded
I ended up at these random girls' house they are smoking weed out of a gun
Today I'm playing this game called how physically long can I Lay in this one spot before moving, do you have an estimated time of departure?
So I don't know, I'm not a doctor, but I might be juggling dates with 3 different guys...
Positive reinforcement! I'm training him for being a good boy and coming over. He gets sex and cookies.
I was about to google "rabies and sexual activity." Then I realized I was at work.
I really don't know where my pants are, but that's not the problem. When are you going to unlock the door?
He literally just patted me on the vagina and said goodnight to it.
This feels more like a conference of all the people I've fucked in the past year.
I just want an early 40-something dude who is vaguely unencumbered, professionally driven and wants to put me in a ball gag.
I woke up in his closet, with my shirt inside out and backwards, Rolos in my hand, a tortilla with a face carved into it stuck to the fridge with a magnet, a homemade bong next to the bed, and the door off the hinges... I need a chaperone.
She started crying because the Rugrats grew up
Only good thing about being an essential worker is that I have a letter allowing me to cross the bridge into jersey to get booze
I'm listening to a women in metal station and wearing a flannel. I may have approached peak lesbian.
Randomize
