Ah why did you tell everyone you dragged your sac across my face!
Suck a a big bag of reindeer cock bud. Sent from church. See you in hell
nothing can go wrong this weekend. $1500 to spend. i have options for hookups every night. my backup plans have backup plans
The liquor store is having an inventory reduction sale. It would be a sin not to stop and help them out.
And we all know God doesn't like sinners.
Amen.
I sent the random girl I had sex with last night a 'happy mothers day' text as a reminder to get the morning after pill.
No but the chipped one is crooked now. Clearly I didn't use my hands to break my fall. I used my face
Fuckers are stealing our internet and making my porn stream slowly so I changed the password for VanceRefrigeration to RyansaCunt. No spaces but capitalization.
I threw up outside of a cab while waiting in a drive thru Mexican line while others who i don't know watched from their cars while they ate. Dinner and a show.
I convinced a shit ton of people I was a russian foreign exchange student to get free drinks. I knew learning those accents would come in handy.
I think your high point was when the quesadilla was in your mouth and you were screaming "I can't chew!" and the Taco Bell guy just kinda stared at you like he wanted to strangle.
"Work from home" is code for "morning drinks" right?
You're seeing with your vagina, not your eyes.
Who told you that acid and Jurassic World was a good idea?
dont remember, but I'm pretty sure I was convinced that the hybrid dinosaur was satan the whole time. It was actually very spiritual
Is it normal, that tacos make me horny?
He listens to me complain and in return I send him naked pictures. It's a win win situation
Randomize
