And I wrote a rap so it was actually a productive afternoon minus not paying our bills.
my math professor just wrote "parallel" on the board, but spelled it "pararrel". guess what country he's from
you'll be glad to know I got kicked off the microphone at a bar in Breckenridge last night thanks to my country rendition of all star
It's 8 am and he's already trying to get me to make out with a girl.
Well, love is in the air. And by that I mean: it seriously smells like sex in here.
I can't wait for the 4th. I'll probably get drunk and end up puking all over whichever 18 year old I end up making out with.
The sorority chicks were the Persian army, and we were their 300 Spartans. Can barely stand up now...such a good ratio
Apparently campus cops frown on lighting a joint off of the eternal flame on Jerry Falwell's grave...
I just wanna lay in my bed all bundled up as have someone feed me lettuce
the police told me I had to sign a waiver stating that my car will no longer be used for crime activity.
Just saw a drunk bitch in the west village peeing on a car. You are not alone.
True love: he brought me a margarita while I was n the shower. He's a keeper.
My greatest achievement in life thus far is being the go to friend when you have questions about butt plugs.
Only the sound of Friends and my gulping of wine are masking the sounds of my roommate getting laid
Dude... the time we have in life to be young and trivial is so incredibly short. I think we should drink tonight.
Randomize
