is it trashy that while he was throwing up in the bathroom, i was hooking up with his childhood best friend?
the last 2 times weve had drunk sex ive had to get the morning after pill.. he's turning into a real expensive fuck buddy.
The lawn was on fire, but I fixed it.
Look at the bright side...I have an 11 inch penis
i just did the math...im a product of my mothers birthday sex
does pizza still have the 5 second rule in the bubble bath?
He seriously just asked the doctor if taking the medicine for chlamydia was going to cut into his drinking time. Never let it be said that he is not dedicated.
There is a slip-n-slide in the hallway and a girl just did it topless cuz I told her it was my birthday. Where are you?
Getting dressed and listening to the song Buffalo Bill danced to in Silence of the Lambs. I'm a perfect psych major.
I am a good friend because I got you a bagel. I am a bad friend because I ate half of it.
Bacardi 151 is like a past nightmare I'm still curious about
where did we go last night? there's dollar bills all over my room & they're all wet.
don't bring your nerd jargon into this conversation about my naked body
You wear a dinosaur suit one time and everyone thinks you're a furry. Fucking hell, man.
I am way to hungover for it to be Thursday.
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