I love the progression of these pictures. I go from cute to Courtney Love
i need a new camera phone. my pictures from last night are as blurry as my memories. and neither tell me why i woke up in an airplane hangar.
I think I should become a real estate agent in th friend zone I know the place so well
he kept asking me "do you love it? tell me you love it" as I was riding him.
and...?
I told him it was alright.
He looked at me like he has never had a girl throw up on him before.
This is no lauging matter. Huge cock equals great sex. Marriage to huge cock equals great life.
Second night spent with creepy guy. I either need to change his nickname or stop doing this.
As far as figuring life out your talking to a guy that's alternating text messages between his baby mama and a drunk bitch I met tailgating. My best advice is don't worry about shit out of your control and always and I really mean ALWAYS wear a condom.
Apparently I'm at the point in my life where I can wake up with a dick in my face and then go back to sleep
Just described your amazing cock to a complete stranger. I am officially the worst wingman (chick) ever.
I walked outside an you were laying down talking to a star about your life. That's when I took the bottle of jack away...
she got the mcdonald's logo tattooed on her ass. sober. yesterday at noon.
Me my naked body. You bring the paints. I expect to be a panther by game time Sunday.
What do I get.
Panthers win you get to fuck the paint off me.
Bottom line; if I'm coming out of my bat cave to do the dishes and get a chicken wing and I have no pants or makeup on and my messy bun looks more like Santa got leprosy and crashed his sled into the back of my head then let me be. That's all I'm saying.
Its like a glacier coming out of my asshole.
Randomize
