it was like playing where's waldo with your underwear
She told me that she had to rub her face against me because she was part cat.
i can barely afford taco bell don't think a baby is in the budget
He refused my I'm sry gift of ANAL. That's how angry he was.
well he is only 50 percent black.. but after last night i am 100 percent not going back
How do you say "I'm sorry I beat you up while cumming" in German?
Have you ever had one of those moments when you kept whispering to yourself "I'm not a slut, I'm not a slut..."?
I run into you far too many times while completely stoned and/or drunk for this not to be fate. It's like god is telling you to fuck me.
It has been happening a lot lately.
How is it that I've hooked up with not one but two guys in the children's section of a bookstore tonight?
He's passed out. He nodded his head when I asked if he's alive though...so there's that
I don't need you anyway! I have puppies and booze!
It's called hot rabbit the party if he asks the password is "careful" don't ask
Well, while we went through airport security, I found out Mom got her clit pierced, so there's that.
I never thought my gollum impression would lead to me getting laid.
Huzzah!
I had a dream involving the worlds smallest pony, an asphalt volcano, and jimi hendrix. Never smoking 3 bowls before bed again
Randomize