Just saw a man jogging. For recreation. At 3am. Who's he training to be, batman?
May have just accidentally purchased an iphone on Kate's credit card. This has potential to be bad.
we've already established he's totally wasted. but now he's just sitting at his computer, doing i don't know what, and he keeps saying "dammmn girl" in a really low whisper
I just added 'steal mom's xanax' to my to do list for when I go home for Easter.
I never thought I would say the free bottle of grey goose was the problem but it was
just drunkenly made mashed potatoes at midnight. what have you done for your calorie intake lately?
We're past the whole "Did she just try to finger my ass?" Stage. Now it's encouraged.
Trust me. I don't get home before 5am. I know what Immmm doing. BTW bail money is in my closet. PEACE
Just showered now I smell like berries instead of shame
I've officially done it all, fucked a girl wearing a twister board. ABC parties are amazing!
Do you ever feel like your dog agrees with you? Like REALLY really agrees.
Drunk texting with my high school teacher. This hurricane is bringing out the best in everyone!
He has a bed frame and a headboard.... That match his dresser and nightstand...
Hahah. That's good.
I feel like you don't understand the severity with which this weirds me out...
My boyfriend's brother just got out of jail and he is already telling us to steal cable. Dude.
He told me that after two hours of fucking he feels as though his dick wants to detach from his body and go to Mexico..
Randomize
