I don't know what I could have possibly done in a past life to deserve watching my boyfriend projectile vomit margaritas and probs blood while completely naked.
something about eating while taking a crap just doesn't seem safe to me.
I woke up with fried rice in my sweatshirt pocket came downstairs and found all the chicken in the fridge gone. I'm THAT roommate aren't I?
four loko is apparently banned in the us. so i think its time for us to stock up. i already emailed them about buying them in bulk
Their was just 7 people standing outside eating a costco chicken, definitley at the right party
By the way, anytime you want to go toe to toe on Doggystyle lyrics just let me know!
Who is this? Did we just become best friends?!
It's like the dark age of my sex life being stuck here
I just want to have sex and eat dumplings. Is that so much to ask?
The Stanley Cup Final is killing me. I can't go to work drunk again.
BUT DID YOU RIDE THAT DICK INTO THE SUNSET THO?
Your face; I've seen enough of it for today. Go away now please.
Well I'm back. Could you fill me in on what I missed?
You don't want to know. Trust me.
I just had the polyamorous Canadian hockey player do the splits while naked in a handstand at my apartment just now. And yes, I know it’s 1:30am on a Thursday.
I woke up and there is a small Irish man playing call of duty in my room. Discuss.
His dick has the same name as my pipe. I'm keeping him forever.
Randomize
