just witnessed a squirrel raping another squirrel. i couldn't look away.
There are 3 speedbumps now up. Think you can manage the urge to piss on them?
Aw shit! That's like putting me a in a room full of Captiain Crunch Donuts and Jasper Hale and not letting me put my mouth on either.
The sex was so good, I called my ex during the 2nd time just so he could hear. Is that mean?
just put cider in my bong. gotta love fall
the people next to us in line are buying a 12 pack and a snuggie
for future reference: even when 4 loko is flat it still fucks you up. im near a tree. come find me.
This weekend is gunna be a fucking shitshow. I don't even wanna know how many dicks will end up inside of me
We got back from the bar and started watching bizzare foods, which subsequently led to the consumption of large amounts of rancid lunch meat and small insects.
So he just rolled you off his dick and fell on the floor?
I ate the crust off the pizza and left the rest in the box. Even I would hate me.
We fired a shoe out of a medieval cannon. I know not where we got either one.
Apparently I was having great conversation with this 48 year old on grindr & he was concerned as to how I was getting home.
Just ignore the penis. It's won't bother you. I promise.
If you can't beat em, make them send you dick pics so they can't do anything stupid again.
leads to pukin, then cryin, then 24hr masturbatin binge, then cryin again and finally a combination of all 3
Randomize
