I'm pretty sure there's seven mailboxes in the bathtub...
We told the pizza man that the door was most likely unlocked, he could leave the pizza on the counter and give himself 20%. He did it-I'm never moving out of Aspen.
Woke up with an epic boner today, the kind where you can spin books and shit on it. FYI: don't try spinning an encyclopedia
I've been thinking about it and if we ever have a threesome it'll start off with us clothed solely in our matching fur vests
I mean it's not my fault he had a floor mat that read "put out or get out". What was I supposed to do?
I think he just caught a duck in mid flight
tell me why they applauded then the bartender locked himself in the bathroom when i walked into the bar today ????
fucked a girl in Bentley hall at ten tonight, came on the carpet and I plan on doing it in another building soon. Watch where you walk
He pulled out a red and green condom and then started humming "Here Comes Santa Claus." Happy holidays indeed.
WHO ARE THESE GUYS WHY AN ORGRY ON A MONDAY LMAO
The only good thing about the sex was that he finally cracked the spot on my back that's been hurting.
THERES A BEAVER CHASING ME, ANGRY BEAVERS IS FUCKING REAL DUDE
Is it just me or is it like a girl gets married and all of a sudden she’s a “blogger”?
The closest thing I've had to an orgasm lately is sneezing nonstop from fucking allergies.
just found a joint on the street in downtown. smoked it with the hot guy from my chem class
WHAT IS UP WITH YOU SMOKING/ DRINKING THINGS OFF THE GROUND?
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