hide the guitars, Nate just learned to play free fallin'
Me= Watching Ferngully. My neighbor= Having really loud sex including multiple orgasms
Oh God
I know, but the worst part is I'm not really sure which I'd rather be doing. Feel free to re-evaluate our friendship
Vibrating panties would be amazing during this conversation!
It was kinda bitchy last night when i brought up my pregnancy scare and you said "shotty playing with it"
No see this is how It goes: guys will fuck virgin girls. But girls don't really want to fuck virgin guys. So you're good have no fear.
I shouldn't have to thank you for taking off your captain hat off before we had sex
Just paid a $5 cover at a bar I stumbled by so I could puke in a toilet and not in public.
Oh you know, sitting here in my bathing suit watching antiques road show and petting the cat. Just the usual
my roommates tied me up with rope and duct tape then left me outside the door to the hot girls' suite on my floor, knocked on the door and ran away leaving me there with a sign that says free
THEY AREN'T MARRIED. PUT ON YOUR HOMEWRECKING PANTIES AND GET TO WORK. NO EXCUSES.
Somehow I became in charge of getting my mother laid? This can't be my life? Lol
Holy shit I'm 26! That took an embarrassingly long time to figure it out, I need to keep buyin weed from this kid
We need to know if his feet match his cock.
Yeah I knew you'd like him. He's emotionally and physically self destructive.
We would have so much to talk about!
operation Bang Australian Boy = oh so successful
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