Is it weird for a girl to post pictures of her dildo no facebook?
I'll listen to your side of the story when you stop being such a whore.
God. I'm so broke I don't even have a dollar to snort my adderall through.
You know how i spent all of black friday on the plane? Well guess who's getting a x-mas gift from skymall?!!??
Just saw a commercial bout this girl that lost 54 lbs on a taco bell diet. so thats my excuse.
my purse only fit my wallet or the martini shaker. it wasnt even a question of which i was bringing.
Yeah but then he looked at me bleeding on the floor, said oh i guess you need to go to the hospital now, and left
I'm at about main and main street
the potatoes in the margarita machine wasn't the breaking point. its when he turned on the stove and put a bunch of bottle rockets on it that i knew the night had prematurely failed
Do you think she will like "you don't have to swallow this time" gift certificates for Xmas?
I might stash a bottle of vodka in your mailbox, that way if I wanna leave early I can drink in your frontyard till you get back.
I convinced a German girl that I was born while my mom was water skiing and I preceded to barefoot ski behind her via the umbilical cord...
We met up and made out in front of an empanada spot, if that's not romance then idk what is.
He gave me a box of cheez-its after sex, does that make me a hooker?
Just made a drug contact standing in the sandwich line in the dining hall. Is this real life?
You're my fucking hero.
Randomize
