I'm already going to be stripping so like pretty much you would just be watching me. Also we're watching twilight. again.
A guy in a sombrero stopped to take a picture with me sitting on the curb.
She deep throated me and when I woke up she made me pizza. I was full of emotions I started to cry.
This is to remind you the pizza is in the dishwasher birthday boy eat it before it goes on
We almost forgot to tip the maids, so we left the rest of the gin, some tonic water and a lime. They earned it
Someone spilled vodka all over the elevator floor. Bring straws.
Hungover in church. I can feel stained glass Jesus judging me.
But seriously I don't know. I haven't seen her since I gave her back her 3 blind mice stick, and she just started hitting everybody with it.
It's not too terrible. You just got a little naked and broke your arm.
He made me cum via FaceTime, then he made me look at his stock investment charts..
I think I got a sinus infection from puking out my nose on st. Patricks day #thisis26
I don't know what else is in your wedding gift, but I just pulled out a pair of handcuffs in front of her grandmother.
Also a whip and a blindfold. Don't be a bitch, enjoy it!
Good news! Blood’s flowing!
Did you really kidnap my goldfish last night?
We're pretty sure we got naked at Pride, so running the two blocks to your place in my underwear is a step up the dignity ladder really.
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