I had total buyers remorse when i finally got him naked. All that effort for a dude that hairy? Come on.
if you google earth my address you can see me getting out of my car. finally my moment of being famous
First order of business is dropping my 9 am gym class. I'm sweating pure vodka.
what is with people arguing over soda or pop? to be honest i thought it was just called chaser
Also pencil in smooth jazz and illegal activities. The usual.
I had a dream last night where I used the marginal product rule to figure out how much more hangover I got per sip of four loko, econ is taking over my life...
You came over, called every girl Comrade Heather, and then declared that you were an Eagle, and we were your young.
So all in all, a good night.
I found them. Thank God. Now I'm gonna have to take a Xanax for the panic attack I almost had trying to find my Xanax.
He carried around a bottle of jäger the whole night and when everyone thought the cops came, he started doing push ups in the middle of the floor cause he said it calmed him down.
Every time I start to think he's just not worth the trouble, he puts his face down there and I wanna buy him a car
I just ate a handful of salt
I thought this was a good idea
Let's drink lean at the 5 seconds of summer concert. Give the teens a glimpse into their future as dysfunctional adults holding desperately onto their youth. You in?
If catching your vomit in my hands while swimming in a bath tub full of it doesn't make us best friends, I don't know what will
you know you're doing something right when your drug dealer insists on hugging you before you leave.
I really need to stop having sex.. I haven't been able to get a brush through the back of my hair for a good week and a half
Randomize
