whjeg hajt iyt
say what?
wanna hang out?
Black thong, sheer white shorts not a professional look. This chick has no idea what sunlight makes her outfit look like.
I just woke up to crumpled tissues everywhere. Looks like it was another night filled with tears and semen.
I'm tempted to see how fat I can get before he leaves me. It's obvious we're playing a game of chicken here.
I know now the amount of smoke it takes to set off the fire alarm....no longer worried about using the bong...not even close
She just called to say she can support a full bottle of vodka between "the girls" now. I'm going over, don't try and stop me.
Party was cancelled. Me and my dog are high as tits. Wanna go roam the outlet mall?
you had a pretty long talk with your shrooms in attempt to make them not give you a bad trip, it failed
Yelling back at the people on Jerry springer through the TV, and eventually punching it. Failure of a night.
That was obviously his first time talking dirty. He called my vagina "pretty"
He's a prodigy! It would be a service to the scientific community.
15 is 15
The feeling are messing with the penis
Like I'm literally drinking whiskey and making a stocking for my cat right now. What. Goes. On.
He stopped me mid blowjob and asked me to take off my hat. He said it made him feel like Neil Young was going down on him.
You poured all their beer into ziploc baggies so it would be "better on the go"
Randomize
