I thought I had fell out of his trailer but he says I tried to ninja kick his TV stand saying those girls hula hooping were trying to seduce him. There wasn't anyone else there.
we need to drink 2009 down the drain
You bet me 100 dollars that the Raiders would win the super bowl this year. I have it on tape.
why didn't you say something constructive like "stop chugging that vodka"?
can you call in chlamydia to work? like if the antibiotics they gave you for it are giving you the shits...
can we change the rule from "no one is ugly after 2 am" to 1130 so i can justify last night
I just watched her pee in a trashcan, im still probably going to fuck her, what does that say about my standards
i was wearing footie pjs. how could there be confusion as to who i hooked up with, thats not something you forget
Having to explain to my dad why there are chicken wings to the pool filter, new low.
Bro... You handed me an ice cube from your drink and said "tell me if it tastes like pickles".
Oh hey. I left my beer there. Beer is more important than my pride. I want to pick that up.
In light of this week's heat-wave, we are having a house vote tonight on the temporary suspension of the "no smoking indoors" clause. Please bring your voting cards to the living room at 6:30pm
Point of Clarification: by "voting card" we mean a full beer and/or shots
Fell asleep on kitchen floor again, chicken nuggets everywhere.
I slept on her porch...in her dads handcuffs
If a weird guy texts you in the near future asking if you are satan just go with it
Randomize
