he whipped it out and it smelt like my toilet after taco Tuesday
he cried for an hour, then he threw up on my lap then started singing party in the usa...opera style...
How did you steal an entire pie?
I don't know. It's in my purse.
Apparently I was holding on to a pizza crust for hours last night.
I can't believe all the places I got into shoeless last night. Apparently no one will say no to a girl covered in paint with a ripped shirt
That's not how these arrangements work. You don't buy each other stuff unless you break a sex toy. End of story.
I just debated creating a mirror system so I could play Batman while in the bathroom. I think I need help.
I already knew that. But I also don't agree with stifling creativity.
I thought I was invisible, then some guy flashed his high beams at me and I realized my lights weren't on...not invisible.
My mom wants to name our new dog the same name as my fuck buddy. This will be weird
a guy messaged me on POF to ask if I knew of any places that were hiring. And was being completely deadass serious. I'm so done
I feel like I shouldn't be encouraging my friends to hook up with their teachers.....but if it's for academic reasons....then I definitely encourage it.
It wasn't until I lost my earring that I realized "I've been here before". Turns out we fucked a year ago. We've decided to make it a tradition.
I'm telling you, I 'm beginning to think that my vagina is magical.
Parade of Dicks...that's what I'm calling 2017
Just convinced the cute guy from class that I have prostate cancer. GET ME OUT OF THIS TOWN!
Randomize
