I got wasted for the 1st time and I sat in a fridge for 2 hours and a trash can?
My first STD was from a foam party
I don't even know what he looks like, all i've seen of him is his dick
the rest of him looks just as crooked
They threw a beer at you on stage and then you stopped the karaoke and cussed everyone in the bar out for 2 minutes
we'll go far in life on tits alone.
he just tried to convince me that tylenol is a gateway drug
The next time i black out make sure i remove the ping pong balls from my weave. Especially before my first day of classes.
I had to put a towel over my laptop because the little power light was too bright. New hangover low.
Is it rude to ask for an autograph after giving him a blowjob in their hotel's hot tub?
hey if you're going to the hospital do you wanna pick me up a taco on your way back
So besides your brother walking in on you shaving and singing "I'm gonna get asssss" how was your night
Anal on new furniture sounds like a quickest way to violate a warranty
Who knew removing piercings would be so radical?
Justin has passed out on the toilet in a locked stall. Stay tuned for pics.
Jesus better clutch that motherfucking wheel, then.
I'M NOT PUTTING MY TRUST IN JESUS! I'M PUTTING MY TRUST IN YOU!
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