Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
I just saw my grandmother naked. again. this needs to stop now.
Rode a jet ski for the first time three days after I lost my virginity. Hell of a week for my vagina.
you got thrown out for pissing in a cup in the corner. you told one guy it was okay because you went to college and that he wouldn't understand
If letting him bang me while i'm wearing reindeer antlers and a painted red nose isn't the christmas spirit, I dont know what is
Just a smidgen more estrogen and shed be golden
She's got a legit dose of dude going on
No kidding. All she needs is a cheek full of chewing tobacco and I'd have fucked John wayne.
For public speaking we have to bring an object that describes us to class. Can't decide if I wanna bring a flask or a shot glass.
Carrying your RA back to her room wasn't the conclusion I was expecting for the first thursday back
His best friend's cat died so we had a drunken burial ceremony on the side of his condo at 2am and I'm pretty sure if anyone gets ahold of the video feed from Martini Monday we're all fired.
He just showed up with a bottle of wild turkey a half a can of coke and some marshmallows yelling "gobble gobble bitches" my roommates hate my cousin
I love how you sexted me before you told me happy birthday. Thank you.
you gave a quesadilla a blow job with sour cream at Denny's.
So, my eyeglasses somehow ended up in my nightstand drawer and they're covered in lube.
he answered his phone during sex and left to go help that drama queen with her latest bullshit. I'm drinking all his vodka. it's asshole tax
day drinking didnt prepare me for this..
Randomize
