are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
How come it tastes like onions whenever I go down on her?
If your 8 lb baby was ham it would serve 6-8 people
Is it weird I want to fuck the cartoon chick from e-surance??
so he came over for the first time and i completely forgot i had pictures of him printed out from facebook on my wall and a newspaper article with him in it.. you can guess that it lead for an awkward situation.
You showed the cops outside of the bar your boobs and then decided to go apologize to them. They admitted that the reason they hung out there was because of girls like you.
thank you for letting me use your house as a brothel.
Then you started screaming that this was the first time you did e and that you had a 4.8 gpa, that was right before you almost suffocated between that one girl's tits.
Im going in through the window and borrowing her dog. Dont worry ive done this before. we have an agreement.
I dunno. We kind of want to have a hippie communing with nature type break. But because we're such alcoholics I feel like we'll just be wasted the whole time in addition to hugging trees and shit
How many band members does it take to become The Band Slut? I think I might be dangerously close
I just washed my birth control down with captain because I don't have any water and I need to wash the blood off my face before I leave my room.....
Remember when I said I had my shit together?
I ran into a wall that clearly had things popping out. My eyebrow was bruised, both arms, the bottom of my foot. Lost half of my finger nail, my fake eyelash was stuck in my hair and I have about 47 blurry pictures of a half naked zombie DJ.
Is there such thing as a tasteful dick pic? I think I just got one if they exist.
You’re about to have a sober threesome with a rando at a Fenway bar?
Randomize
