He's on drugs...like drugs for horses.
It was all fun and games until Tim shit on the end table
I was in bed at 845. Affairs take a lot out of people
so I woke up without pants, but my cardigan was still on and fully buttoned. curious.
he called me back to his office so he could lick a line of pixie stick off of my thigh
be sure to add "office slut" to your resume
Does anyone know why "math wizard" is written on my arm?
We were showing our tits to everyone because it's breast cancer awareness month and we care deeply
I thought we were doing it cause it's Tuesday
I'm about to do the walk of shame in a christmas onesie. What would I do without christmas sweater party season?
It's okay. My lingerie drawer is skanky enough for the two of us. Even across borders.
Just had empanadas for breakfast while watching Wall-e with my yesterday's one night stand mother AND grandmother.
Last night I made the hotel shuttle driver take me to Walgreens for birth control, and Pringles.
They were both high priority
the people next to us at the red light cheered for you while you puked out the window...
She started calling me daddy on the second date and I don't know how to react to that
My breath smells like dick and biscuits..
I just motorbotted some guy and my hair got stuck in his nipple ring...owww
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