Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
i just heard a guy call his kid "Google" in a way that leads me to believe that's his name. this day couldn't get worse.
oh fat girl friday strikes again...
I showed remarkable dignity in such a compromising situation. Except I came off as sort of a blue ball giver.
Her mom caught her drunk streaking when she was 12. Of course she's perfect for me.
We're making herpes jokes very loudly and hoping she notices.
we found him. outside on the balcony, sitting on a bucket, with his pants off, swearing he was'nt taking a dump
I don't know what it was about last night, but every bar that i went to there was at least one girl there that i had done something with. I'm sure the girl that i went with knew because they all grabbed my penis and told me to call them.
Apparently I'm the last girl he had sex with. That was over a month ago. If he can go that long without sex then he's clearly not the guy for me
Pro: Drunk Portland Strip Club. Con: Monday morning hangover at work. Pro: boobs. Con: Sleep deprivation. The Pro's are winning.
I would agree. Add some coffee to the booze. It will cut down on sleep deprivation.
We have a shopping cart in our front lawn. Also Mickey D's breakfast?
Saw your dad at the bar last night... And again this morning when he left. Told you not to mess with me bitch.
FUCK YOU IM DRINKING WINE FROM A BOX
You okay there or need a ride? Maybe a straw for your box
Maybe a straw...
I flashed my boobs, shit my pants, and kissed the wrong twin. I'm on a roll you don't want in on.
we're tipping the strippers with chocolate coins.
Randomize
