he just found out his girl is having a boy. he's probably googling "Ed Hardy diapers" as we speak.
I'm taking child development now so if you get pregnant i can raise your child no worries
I just saw the host of Singled Out do standup. Holy shit 1995.
Have you ever seen a porn where they were playing bluegrass in the background?
I still smell like men's body wash from that drunken shower I took at that stranger's home last night.
An outback commercial just played and I remembered that guy from Australia Imade out with at the Derby. Great Bachelorette Party, btw.
You tried to fight everyone, so we kept having her take her shirt off. You were sufficiently distracted...
Zombie crawl summary: 5 of 6 friends successfully laid. friend 6 too drunk to care and making out with a whale (not a costume)
I'm 99.9% sure the people upstairs are using walki-talkies to talk to each other across the room. Too high for this shit
Whatever. I am not explaining the physics of my dick slapping.
I snapchatted his face mid sex. Needless to say, I don't think I'll ever see him again.
The only thing I know is that these arent my shoes and Aaron is missing and he has my house keys.
I found my limit. I will not, in fact, blow my 78 year old professor for an A in his class.
She'll feel so accomplished if she finally gets to bang me.
By the way, you totally deserve "i got a job sex".
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