Her problem is just that he inner beauty is just as ugly as her physical beauty
Dude you can't just initiate a threesome via twitter
How do the people at CVS not know your living in their bathroom?
the world took limewire and four lokos away from me in one week....hello depression
I was at that stage of drunk where it seemed appropriate to just make out with everyone. As like a greeting.
I hear you
Umm... How do I tell my roommate someone shot a speargun through the wall? On a side note, cliff shot a speargun for the first time.
Want to come over and play therapist and then fuck all the emotion away?
so my mom thinks I'm picking you up just to go buy you liquor before you go back to school tomorrow...
I'm ashamed that your mom thinks I haven't already taken care of that.
I can't wait till we are old and wrinkly and I can turn to you and ask, "Remember when you Rick Jamesed the shit out of that couch??"
If your boss lets you sleep on his couch, you don't pay him back by boning his daughter.
She shit all over my seat. She is not allowed in my car under any circumstances. Not even with drugs. You can't forgive a shit.
I'm sending him pics of me in my new lingerie telling him to come over and when he gets here I'll have changed into like sweats and a 5 year old shirt with ketchup stains on it
Last night when we banged she had nothing else on but socks that said 'property of Jesus' on them.
I made out with 4 out of 4 girls I was out with last night, I'm pretty sure everyone knows I'm a lesbian by now
I am watching Wayne Gretzky and Alexander oveckhin play video games for charity. What is life right now.
Randomize
