they just did a mariachi cover of free bird
good luck with ur interview. Just show them your confidence and don't make that sucking snot noise. Really don't. Praying for you, love mom
the brownie started to kick in before i finished the essay... it became a race against my own increasing intoxication
I made him recite stats from the playoffs game last night before I would go down on him.
proof that my night is going well: I can still open doors
I drunk dialed my ex-boyfriend last night. He was sitting next to my new boyfriend. Shoot me in the face.
The stripper was waving you to the stage, not up on the stage. That's why you got choked out.
Hell hath no fury like a woman whose gay sidekick you insult
i took four shots of tequila, threw my fist up in the air, then went around the party showing everyone how to do the ninja turtle handshake. that's the last thing I remember
So it's ironically funny that my psychiatrist's office and my cocaine dealer's house are on the same street
Just heard him in the middle stall. Sounded like someone emptied a toolbox into the toilet.
She's the queen of dating. She managed to get a date with a guy who saw her puke five times in two hours.
Its like people have to train for months before they try and drink with us and survive...
We havent had power for three days. What else is there to do besides drink and fuck? I thought that was obvious.
last night i was way too drunk and i was forcing people to let me tell them about mammals
Randomize
