he started yelling "this is my pussy" mid thrust
He spanked me with a plate. I'm not sure where this is going...
the guy in the stall next to me, came in, farted, laughed, and proceeded to give himself some sort of hillbilly pep talk that included the phrase "big pussy".
I don't want to die alone with cake watching shows about cake
I knew it would be a shit show so I just went ahead and took plan b before I even got there. How's that for responsible?
And have you ever tried to explain a hickey to your own grandmother?
It's really not cool dreaming about going into labor with your ex boyfriends love child as you're sleeping next to him.
I just want to like fall into a pit of hot wings beside a keg of yingling and eat my way to freedom
you texted him "it's time for the no pants dance", please get your tubes tied.
You haven't lived until you've thrown up naked in a hotel room in Fargo while holding your breasts so they don't touch the toilet bowl.
Hook ups at LEGOLAND don't count right?
Are we playing inappropriate sexual encounters bingo?
Well... I got her number now... I think she is a dish best served drunk
Just had to stop myself from doing a bump on the Disney bus. The struggle is real.
Irony: drinking your pre workout supplement out of the cup your Krispy Kreme doughnut holes came in.
just went home with a guy that made fun of me in elementary school. this blow job is not going well for him.
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