did I really admit that id have sex with that cougar had I been more drunk?...ugh...i need to masterbate more
Dude, I was completely sober last night, didn't puke on my shoes, went home with an incredibly beautiful girl, wore a condom, and didn't wake up in a puddle of urine this morning.
hah, sarcasm, classic
i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
We just picked up about 540 lbs of women....
If it looks like I didn't change from last night, it's because I didn't.
Fuck you. You would only tell me how to get to your house in Spanish.
If you're fucking that other dude, I'll take the sloppy seconds. I don't care.
No im the worst roommate ever. Just dump a bucket of water on my head at 8am so i can suffer like i deserve to.
Congrats. You are not detrimental enough to my psyche to be discussed during this mornings therapy appointment. Please follow up next week to see if you made the cut.
more embarrassing than that time i showed up to class in my hoodie and leggings because i over slept, and then as i zipped my hoodie down i realized i didn't sleep with a bra on or a shirt
U thinks that's bad? He told me that he had to envision high school wrestling in order to bust a nut with some girl
im on the hungover til tuesday pabst blue ribbon diet
So I had sex in the woods today. Anything else that happened today? Irrelevant. It was a GOOD day.
These beer shits have taken over my entire life.
On a scale of 1 to 10 how concerned should I be
Randomize
