dude i'm inner monologue high
yeah my walk of shame consisted of driving on the wrong side of the road at 6am still drunk with cum drying in my hair and left eye.
dude im at a party with a bunch of 17 year old gilrs this is awesome
no its not leave
I cant leave dude. theres a horse with a top hat on
My girlfriend was pissed, so if I had to guess, i'd say I had a GREAT time last night
well we could tame deer to let us ride on them. does that work?
He drew a face on his balls with a sharpie. It was like giving head to a unicorn.
Dude, so the police showed up at my house with my wallet told me they found it in the church fountain then handed me a pamphlet on AA saying it was from the pastor. What happend?
Really because I got kicked out the eagles game for running up n down the steps singing ' fly eagles fly ' then punched a Dallas fan in the face before the game even started..
and then at some point during the night I ended up holding a baby
Why was a baby at a karaoke bar, and were you wasted?
only slightly. thats not the point. it was a cute baby.
Well someone is clearly not winning the parent of the year award here
Good news: you're over the drunk crying life phase. Bad news: now you're handy and violent. You were groping me from behind in front of the guy you like, then you put me in a headlock and swept the leg.
Lets just put it this way. Im meeting his nana after a mind blowing orgasm.
you gave me money for the cab and then walked home..
Sorry for trying to wake you up by slapping your ass with a fruit 2 go.
Bring shot glasses to the final. Don't ask questions.
Randomize
