I miss Bob Barker.
Yeah, more like Douche Carey...
It's a beautiful day for a hangover
and then she yelled "im going to fuck the next guy that walks by me". so ya thats how i lost my virginity
i think you're the only person in the world who masturbates to food network.
That bad?
Full length cargo pants, running shoes, and a partial unibrow. Alcohol really is blinding.
You are the only one who would stop a bum, tell him to open up, then pour straight vodka in his mouth. You made his year.
Make this decision based on your love for dick - NOT based on the fact that its probably one of the worst things you've ever thought of doing
HE'S BRINGING FRIED MAC AND CHEESE BITES. I GET FRIED MAC AND CHEESE AND SEX PEOPLE. BEST WEDNESDAY EVER.
Great news! In less than 2 hours, I'm ripping your underwear off with my teeth!
So many weird people in this class. I can practically taste their unwanted virginities. They taste bad.
If your gig isn't over in 30 minutes I am coming on that stage to come on your dick.
I feel like I could have been bitchier and missed an opportunity.
Im eating leftover Easter ham in a bubble bath. What has my life come to?
I kid you not. He let me in into his house, showed me the putt putt in his backyard. Offered to play me.
It's official we're now working from home permanently. I'm getting paid to have sex and sandwiches. I hit the lottery.
Randomize
