So are we goin out tonight?
Dude, we woke up in your car in some parking lot last night...
And that was fun, wasn't it?
And I just remember seeing him for the first time and being like, who is this ape of a man? Like legit he could be the missing link
i kept saying "bloody hell" in a ron weasley accent until i forcibly told myself to shut up
Is it sad that I'm on the stopduiaz.com website and there is a cute boy but it will never work between us because hes in jail for 17.5 years?
Um.. is it mean if I say yes?
How would my first penpal letter even go? "Hey saw you on stopduiaz.com, sucks you killed that motorcyclist. Whats your favorite thing to do on the weekend?"
ol I'll be okay, it's only a christmas party so the worst that could happen is I end up playing madden naked again
I've had cake for breakfast the past 3 days. You tell me how bikini season is going.
Call me when you wake up. I wanna start drinking but I'm giving up hope on my life if I drink alone before 10 am
I think i blacked out...but i remember licking your teeth
You need an intervention. You fell into traffic walking home.
Not really. Birthday weekend. Totally jusifiable. Besides I didn't get hit. No harm no foul.
The slot machines are wishing me happy birthday. Mission success.
I honestly can't remember your justification for putting peanut butter on your cell phone.
he's gonorrhea incarnate
Definitely just found that pen in the microwave. What the fuck.
And noooow we're smoking a ton of REALLY strong weed and THIS IS THE SOFTEST CAT EVER
I hate to stick you with the friend but I did all the work.
Randomize
