did you ever find your cell phone? and your dignity?
I woke up at 3am naked and stroking a watermelon.
Well technically because of daylight savings, I only lasted 15 mintues.
Definitely sounds like it's time for some eggs with a side of strap on
Dude you went around coming up behind people and whispering in their ears. I dont know what you said but they looked terrified when you left.
I can already see the regret in her eyes. Amazing night. This city rules.
Chuck job is nothing more than to be my dick stand when I'm too drunk to hold it while pissing
You need Xanax blowdarts
You were supposed to be my wingman and all you kept to her friend was "kill it with fire"..
I should probably stop recommending my dentist to the different guys I'm seeing. That could be awkward in the future.
If my vagina were a person, it just ran a marathon.
I got caught throwing up in my daughters princess potty... On the bright side it played a rewarding tune afterwards.
It was a fun night. I made out with the door guy at the gay bar but he didn't speak english
There was no door guy at the bar
Oh BTW the next time I see you I don't care where we are your dick will be going into some part of my body.
he was really really nice, and I did coke off of his dong that night too
Randomize
