Goodnight sugar queer
Sugar queer??
Why does my predictive text prioritize 'queer' over 'puffs'?
Little spoons don't ask big questions
He just did blow off my nipples. He's not serious about his girlfriend.
Two bottles of champagne and half a pizza later, I'm crying myself to tears watching The Nanny. Happy finals week.
On an unrelated note: I'm also a big advocate of the "never waste a boner" theory.
Of dear god, I've been waiting to have rug burn like this since I got bored of my vibrator 2 months ago
He looks like he'd be great Lego character.
Remember that time you came over to my house and I was on the porch naked and eating peanut butter?
I just tried to order ice cream on my bagel. I think I should just call it
Human centipede...with the teletubbies. That's what my nightmare had in it.
I don't even want to know.
please come back they are interrogating me about masturbation
He told me he sees me like a sister then 10 mins later tried to make out with me.
That's not the problem. The problem is I thought I was over him but he smells nice today.
I dunno what to tell you sport. Short of having a shock collar on, you're gonna wanna hook up with people.
I'm eating dinner with his parents and my phone goes "MOVE BITCH GET OUT THE WAY!" Thanks.
Randomize
