well the first picture of me in 2011 involves a viking helmet and chugging champagne. i like this year already.
he was holding the bottle like a running back yelling for security and the national guard as he was being tackled
Man, I thought my dick was gonna fall off.
Dude, I didn't even think they made slap bracelets anymore. You okay?
Passive mediator is your role in this relationship. My role is dick punching arsonist
Curled up in the fetal position, trying not to throw up or think about my future, and humming songs from musicals to myself. You?
110% paid for our cab with a lap dance
We found her on the doorstep. Just layin down going, "I made it home!! Aren't you proud??!"
Oh and apparently something happened that was related to "THIS IS SPARTA" but no one will tell me what I did.
So I'm going to blame my boobs hurting on that.
I was using my Beauty and the Beast blanket as a makeshift skirt because no pants
MY INSIDES ARE BASICALLY BEING WRUNG BY A CHAINSAW IM NEVER TAKING PLAN B AGAIN
You ever sit back and realize our friendship is based off us ranting at each other with random animal photos thrown in
How do I figure out the name of this sleeping naked guy in my bed?
sober me is not impressed with the quality of people that drunk me gives our phone number to
Guy just rode past on a lowrider bike smoking a blunt, I want his life
Thanks for fucking the skin off my dick
It was a joint effort between my vagina my feet and your hand you can't just blame that all on me
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