Sorry, its so late. Remember your fat friend with huge boobs. i need her number..its an emergency
i guess it's bad bediquette to quote the kool aid man
?
he said oh yeah and i responded with OHH YEAHHHHH!
lesson #67 learned in college: a three day old margarita, is still a margarita.
All I remember was yelling at him, "Its becasue of people like you that it took us so long to get to the moon!"
Our cab driver just admitted to beating up kids in the 60's who didn't smoke pot...
There's half of a squirrel in the bathtub - i figured you'd be the one to go to.
This guy in a neck brace is ordering bottle service at the strip club. Not sure whether to applaud his commitment or scorn his addiction. It's a draw.
Free tacos and bad night are never used in the same sentence
I just realized I'm the burger in your burger and steak anology. Very disconcerting.
He's talking about me being Slave Princess Leia and how he'll chain me up. I don't have the heart to point out that he would be Jabba in that scenario...Is it bad that his lack of SW knowledge is destroying my lady boner?
Well I woke up at my house so that's a plus. But I'm pretty sure I peed on my sofa because I woke up in the pee position.
You can wear anything you want
So... Naked it is then
We had to push you home in an abandoned shopping trolley. You thought you were in a pirate boat and kept yelling "AVAST, ME HEARTIES".
I just texted him from the other room to come have sex with me-stress relieved
You are such a millennial
well i blew him then my wife blew him, so im guessing we'll be seeing him around, yeah
Randomize
