I'm drunk and I'm watching it's Alwyas Sunny and eating candy. Even I am jealosu of my life
Oh. They ARE dating. Kinda sad. Have such an urge to be a huge bitch and steal him but my morality is in the way. FUCK YOU MORALITY.
What happened to him?
He was walking right behind us then disappeared.. turns out he checked his luggage at a night club, continued to drink and dance, then slept on the 4th floor of some museum
Yea, remember to blow out the fire from flaming shots. Unless you want burnt lips. Just saying, I'm an example of ignorance and intoxication.
Chasing shots by shotgunning beers is not a good idea.
I stole so many things from the ER last night.
theres a new barista at starbuck holy fuck she's hot
i want to face-plant into her vagina
Can't even walk I haven't tried talking but I probably can't do that either
I just googled, "how to do boob makeup" thats the kind of night I wanna have.
You're invited to our X-games themed party. We have an ice luge and every time someone eats shit we drink. It's gonna be great.
IT ISN'T. I'M A LITTLE HIGH.
YOU'RE ALWAYS A LITTLE HIGH.
NO. IT'S RARE THAT I'M A LITTLE HIGH. I'M ALWAYS HIGH AS FUCK. THERE'S A DIFFERENCE.
Glow Paint looked great for the Black Light Party last night, Tonight having a glow in the dark Pizza on my arm, not so much.
I woke up on a boat next to an extremely attractive man wearing nothing but a life jacket. Neither one of us owns a boat...
Like these jerks could have told me it wasn't a video call, I wouldn't have put on pants.
a guy just skateboarded past my window in a bunny suit while chased by a dog walker
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