he actually used the line "do you have a map, because i'm lost in your eyes" and i was to drunk to care
I was just texting to see if your vagina was working yet.
Well unless he sent his sperm via fedex, this baby isnt his
Apparently last night drunk me put my phone in a cup of beer to make it "fun scented".
At the hospital. Forgot we locked Eric out of the house last night as a joke. Hypothermia's a bitch.
Im pretty sure he just said he wants to make a baby with me, but he's pretty shitfaced, so I'm not sure if he knows who I am.
I feel like fucking him is something we all do but don't want to admit to. like masturbating or peeing in the shower
there are casual beer cans in all of the public trashes, i belong here
MASS TEXT: Lets start a new tradition. Black Friday log pic contest. I'm waiting.
After seeing all of the pics during the trial, all I could think was "her vagina doesn't look THAT dangerous"
as much as I don't like snorting drugs, I would totally be fine with someone doing a line off my ass. that's just a whole new up
Desperate times call for desperate measures. But he promised me no small talk so that was nice
Thanks for reminding me of all the hookups my brain has been trying to suppress...
That's what friends are foooooooor!
Block me from your phone tonight…I need to get laid tonight. But you've been being a douchebag. So not by you. But I might call you. So block me.
WHY WOULD I COCK BLOCK MYSELF???
I would climb him like a jungle gym. Enthusiastically and creatively.
Randomize
